Paging Dr. Stuart (week 4)

The majority of people here want to go into some form of medical profession. For the past few weeks I have got to listen about their passions, their research labs, their shadowing experiences, their volunteering....all truly impressing. At the same time....very terrifying for me. At this current moment, profession wise, I have not done any major preparation besides being a pet owner, taking my classes, being in FFA in high school, watching alot of Animal Planet, and occasionally going to walk dogs at shelters. I have tried a few animal related organizations at A&M (Aggies for Animal Rescue Society, Pre-Vet Society etc.) but none of those have really stuck. So, for me, seeing just how prepared everyone else seems to be, has left me recently feeling impossibly incapable of ever getting into veterinary school. I had tried to shadow vets, got little response, tried to intern at an animal rescue, they didn't need me....etc etc. I just kept pushing it off as something that I would get to eventually. This History of Medicine study abroad is actually, in my opinion, my first real step into trying to get a more sturdy resume going for applications. I wanted to showcase my drive, my independence, my curiosity, my world knowledge. This past week, I think I made another step. Not anything as massive as a study abroad. But an important first step none the less. My first surgery! Yep, it was my first. Most people were busy swapping all their cool past experiences, and just was awkwardly trying not to geek out over the fact that I was going into an OR for the first time. Granted, its not a vet clinic. Not exactly my field of interest. But medicine is medicine, and surgery is surgery, and I was excited. Here's a quick list of what I took away most from this.
1) I don't mind the scrubs. They made me feel all official, and I thoroughly enjoyed strutting around the halls pretending like I actually did stuff
2) I was not expecting to be thrown in solo to a random surgery, and my brain was engaged trying to figure out what I was supposed to be doing
3) Thank goodness for my anesthesiologist. She was the only one who spoke at all to me, and actually did a good job trying to let me know what she was going. I honestly found it super fascinating, and found myself actually thinking of questions to ask
4)When two German medical students blocked my view of the surgery for the last 2/3 of it....I was both majorly bummed out and relieved I had an excuse to sit by the screens every now and then
5) The scent of burning flesh did make me woozy, but the peeling away of subcutaneous fat did not
6) I loved having a mask so they couldn't see when I yawned....I was really tired
7) I got so lost looking for another surgery, and was so sad to not find another
8) The surgery I did see (prostatectomy) was a great intro surgery, getting to see all the different ways they have to insure the patients safety with the possibility for major blood loss
9) I was relieved to see the gloves they use fit better then the ones we use in lab
10) THIS GOT ME REALLY AMPED ABOUT GETTING PREPARED FOR VET SCHOOL! I think I always kind of pumped the breaks with getting involved because, deep down, I felt (and still feel to some extent) that I may not be smart enough for vet school. It was just something to say I wanted to do that sounded impressive, was a far off dream, and I never actually really thought I could ever be Dr. Stuart (the II following my dad). I just didn't want to overestimate myself and have no back up plan. But being here, doing this program, talking to other motivated medical students, has helped show me this is the learning community I want to be in. This is what I am passionate about. I have alot to do, especially this year, but I think this was a great way to kick it off. I would hope to shadow vets in the future, but I would be thrilled to do doctors again as well. It is all a part of the learning process!