Monday, October 31, 2005

Time to gather my thoughts

Well after FINALLY being done with the "serious" tests for a while, even though I have a physics exam tomorrow I can at last sit down and share my thoughts on how the study abroad impacted my life.
Initially I was more than ready to go, but I was extremely nervous because I had never really traveled on my own before, not to mention by airplane. That was the first barrier for me to overcome, though my flight went over fine and I had no problems with it. I've been riding theme park rides since I was about 4 so nothing can really phase me in that aspect anymore. Luckily I had Heather there so I at least had one other person to talk to and feel more at ease with. I really didnt have any idea what to do in the airport so she helped out a lot. Once we finally reached Germany I was greeted by my host sister, who was as nice as can be to me and treated me like one of the family. I had a variety of expectations for this trip and it definitely surpassed each and every one of them in more ways than one. It definitely opened my eyes as to just how "in the dark" the majority of Americans are to world events, and especially about language. I met multiple people who could speak 3 or more languages and I was stuck there saying "Well I know a few phrases in Czech." It really made me want to go out and start learning more, and I've even gotten my grandmother to try to teach me more Czechoslovakian, though it is not necessarily the easiest language to catch onto. There are two things that had the biggest impact on me. The first is whenever we were going around on all of our various tours and trips, I got to actually see and stand right where so many important events of the past had occurred; ranging from standing on the spot where Hitler gave his speeches at the Zeppelin field, to the Berlin Wall, and the world famous Louvre museum. Whenever you read about things in history books you just kind of let it go in one ear and out the other and think, "Oh it's just some dumb facts about some place that doesn't really affect me," but when you actually are at the precise places where these things happen and hear from people who lived through them it really leaves an impression in your mind which will stay with me for the rest of my life. The second thing is that I learned throughout the trip that I can let boundaries down and allow myself to be fully submersed into a culture totally unknown to me and get along fine, as well as to not feel that I ALWAYS have to be the ultimate responsible adult watching after everyone else. (Thanks Shannon and Erik) I never really let myself have too much fun before, because I felt like I had an underlying responsibility for everyone else in my group so I couldn't just let loose and totally relax, but now I know otherwise.
In all my time in Duesseldorf is an experience I never thought I would get to enjoy and will NEVER be forgotten. This trip has strengthened my determination to follow my dream of going to vet school as well as made me a stronger person overall and it will influence how I go about things for the rest of my life

Q & A

Houston Intercontinental Airport can be one of the scariest places on earth. Knowing that there is no turning back on what can be considered a journey of a lifetime, induces an uneasiness in my stomach. The funny feeling in my stomach is hard to explain. I believe it is a combination of fear, nervousness, and extreme excitement. As I wait for my departure time, my head is filled with thoughts comparing my old home to what I think my new home will be like. Will it be about the same? Will I ever feel comfortable? What is the food going taste like? Then I start thinking that these thoughts are totally natural. I am sure, no; I am positive that these are the exact same feelings of everyone else going on this trip. Then I feel a wave of warm relief and my confidence level rises almost instantly.
My study abroad experience in Düsseldorf, Germany was amazing. I had so many expectations of what it was going to be like. It met and exceeded all of them. The closeness and friendships that formed with both my fellow students and with my host family is something that I have never experienced before. It was nice going from the feeling of being alone to being surrounded by all new friends almost instantly. This trip definitely changed they way I approach meeting new people. It seems that I am more open to new people and new experiences. I am also more concerned on events that are happening globally. I can see now the relationship between me, as an American, and the rest of the world. Whatever events happen across the world could possibly affect my lifestyle in some way and I should be aware of these changes. This is a view on world events that I never had before this trip.
Along with meeting new and different people, my visual experience was just as great. The history and culture that is in Europe is somewhat hard to describe in words. There is just so much that can be taken in from 1,000 year old castles and churches, the Rhine River valley, palaces, WW II ruins, and an endless amount of other things. Most of these objects I read about in history books, and now I have actually been there. I like to say that I “touched history”.
On this trip, I was bombarded with an incredible amount of information. Information from both our guided tours and our class was a lot to take in. I was skeptical on how much my brain could hold, but then surprised that I can still recall almost all of the details. From what I learned about the history of medicine opened my eyes on how far we have come, as a society, in treatments concerning the patient. We have come along way since the time of no anesthesia and human experimentation. It seems that the patient’s well being has taken top priority as opposed to the patient being sacrificed for the advancement of medical science.
My study abroad trip to Düsseldorf will be something that is imprinted in my mind forever. I find myself recalling experiences from this trip and applying them in present situations. Saying this, my trip to Europe was not just a memorable experience, but an encounter that I can utilize for the rest of my life.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Answers? Questions.

I’ve waited until the last possible moment to write this paper because I’ve been wrestling with the topic and I fear that it is filled with more questions than answers. How did Germany change me? I’ve studied abroad before. I’ve lived with a host family. I’ve had to learn the basics of an entirely new language and social interaction system to get around a country. Public transportation? No biggie. Public health care system? Well, I have never studied the US health care system in great detail and I grew up in a self-proclaimed ‘socialist republic’ and so nothing in the German system surprised me except maybe for the fact of how little Germans exploit it. Veterinary care? Besides the novel idea of having a cow hospital or doing C-sections on 90% of a herd (who knew cows were worth that much?), it all seems very analogous to what I have seen in other developed countries. History? The way Germans are still very much affected by the past shocked me. Did it change me? Do I consider history more important? Not really. I cringe when people use the term ‘nazi’ lightly (as in ‘She’s a spending nazi’) because now I know how immense a negative impact they had on an entire country (subsequent generations included.) I don’t get into arguments over it, though. How could somebody who hasn’t been there to experience it themselves ever understand? However, I cannot say that I have come away without learning anything about myself or have not changed in any way. How to say in concrete words what is only a vague, shadowy feeling?

Maybe the best thing to do is consider the two events that shocked me about myself: the cardiac ICU in Bonn and the cow surgery in Hanover. In the former, as all of you know, I fainted. In the latter, as probably most of you don’t know, I started to feel faint and luckily we left as a group (with me out the door first if you didn’t notice) before I lost it. I have participated in sheep surgeries before! Blood, while not my favorite dinner subject (that would be other aspects of veterinary medicine, much to the dismay of my more sensitive roommates), has always been something that I get queasy over, but not to the point of completely losing control. Was I becoming overly sensitized? Could I handle vet school or would I pass out at the sight of blood? The thought that for the last four years I had been pursuing the wrong degree raced through my head and chilled me to my marrow.

When I got back to the USA, I found myself graduated and without a job. Before going to Germany I had already ruled out immediately entering veterinary school on the basis of money. I want to go abroad to get my DVM (or equivalent) and everywhere I looked it wasathan too expensive. That left me with finding a job to begin paying back my student loans. The first place that I applied to was a veterinary hospital in New Waverly where I hoped to get on-the-job experience and be paid for it. However, there was a lingering nervousness that I might not be up to the task of taking care of sick animals. When I was offered a position in a research company in the Woodlands, I jumped on the opportunity. Would I have if I had not had those experiences in Germany? Probably. I love working in a lab and this company is renowned for treating its employees especially well. Will I go on to get my DVM? That is still up in the air. I do believe that my resolve to become a veterinarian was shaken by my experiences in Germany. I am considering other career options, such as a masters and then Ph.D. in a research field, more carefully. The one thing that I am sure about is that I am very glad that I went to Germany and I would pay for it all over again if I had the chance to go back and re-do that summer.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Things I Have Learned

“You will come home a different person.” This is what I remember Dr. Wasser telling me at our first informational session last spring. Sitting in that classroom I thought, “This is going to be a great experience, but I am who I am and there is NO changing that. How could a month long trip change me? I do not need change.” Wow, was I wrong!! This trip not only taught me about myself, but it helped me to gain knowledge about a different culture, language, and another health care system.

I think the biggest change resulting from my study abroad experience would be the confidence I gained in myself. I have a very close relationship with my family, hence I depend on them for many things. Sometimes, I think that I am pretty “needy.” I will end up calling them for the smallest things, even if it is something I can do on my own. It seems that I just need their approval. I had never been forced to realize that I was “grown up” enough to make my own decisions. This trip definitely changed that. I realize that I am a fully capable adult. I have traveled to the opposite side of the world without my parents. I am now an independent individual!

Before the trip, I was a ball of stress. I panicked about most anything and everything. After getting lost several times in a foreign country where I did not speak the language, I have realized that panicking does not alter the situation; in fact, it makes it worse. You must first analyze the situation and make a plan to get out of it. This is what I am trying to apply to my daily life. No, I do not get lost in College Station, but I do stress about things that I should not. When I start to worry about something, I remind myself about the day that Adriane and I could not find our way home. We just kept walking and eventually found our house. When I think about this, I am reminded to keep striving for my goals.

Another thing that I gained was a desire to watch the world news. I have always liked to watch the local news, or watch when something “big” was going on, but I never had the desire to stay current with news from other countries. The first night at my host family’s house, I was asked what I knew about Germany. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed that the only things that I knew were bad--for example, The Holocaust. Since being home from Germany, I have made it a point to watch more world news and read the paper. I was especially interested during the elections from Germany. I feel like I can have an intelligent conversation about the world and its affairs with anyone now.

After starting school this semester, I was a little bit disappointed. I absolutely loved Dr. Wasser’s teaching style. It was so relaxed, but I honestly feel like I learned just as much, if not more, than in a regular classroom setting. I feel that we did not just learn the information to spit out on a test, but we went out into the world and used it and saw how it was applied. The changing of settings kept things interesting. We went from buses to trains to museums to restaurants.

Then, there were Frau Pilartz’s lectures which I absolutely loved! I learned so many interesting things about the German culture that I never would have learned in a class here in the U.S., or just by visiting Germany. Through her lectures, and living with a host family, I learned to respect people that have differing opinions. I am usually a “It’s my way or the highway” type of person. The trip taught me that I did not constantly have to be “in charge” or know every detail about what was going to happen. I learned to be flexible and to adapt to unusual or unplanned situations. That was a major milestone for me to realize! I must have respect for other people and their opposing ideas, if I am going to be successful in today’s society.

There are many other things that I have learned from this trip, but it would take too much time to write them all down. Some, I probably still have not realized. I know that this was a once in a lifetime experience and I treasure it!!!!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

In the Weeks After Germany

Going to Germany this past summer changed me in so many ways, many of which I realized right as I got home, many I am finding now, and some of which I am sure will pop up in the future. Interacting with a culture so unlike ours can only make you realize one thing: maybe our way is not always the best way.

One of the big things that changed about me was my realization of how important it is to be able to interact with others. Before my trip, I had minimal Spanish skills but thought that was enough. After talking to people who spoke three or four different languages fluently (especially my 11-year old German brother who was currently learning his third and fourth languages), I felt very unprepared to face the world and realized just how important language is. I think not many people in the United States speak anything but English because we are not forced to; whereas, people in Europe have daily interactions with people whose native language is different than their own. Since being back in the United States, I have pushed myself to being more considerate and understanding to people whose beliefs are different from my own. I have started on the path to receiving my Spanish certificate, which prepares one to speak Spanish in a medical setting. I hope to continue practicing and one day consider myself a fluent speaker and start on my next language.

Traveling around Europe made me realize how culturally-sheltered I am at home. Seeing the Dom and other cathedrals, palaces galore, and gorgeous gardens decorating the city showed me how fortunate Europeans are. They walk past these sites everyday. They can see the gardens from their houses. These are everyday occurrences. I have always had a great interest in traveling but seeing so much made me realize just how much I enjoy traveling. I hope to travel more abroad with my family and am encouraging my friends to study abroad. I think that traveling helps you to change in ways that books and lectures cannot teach you.

I have found that I am much more interested in world news after traveling all over Europe. It is easier to want to learn about what is going on over there once you actually have been there and know where everything is. I love it when the news talks about Austria or Germany or France and I think, “Oh yes, I’ve been to the exact place they are speaking of.” Going to Europe also helps you to understand the politics of the country and realize why they make the decisions and laws that they do. German government is an odd circle; they support all their people medically, with jobs, and with education yet everyone, even policy makers, is scared to make the government too powerful because of their history. Compared to the United States, I can see how the government paying for your education can be a really good thing for individuals, therefore causing an enrichment of the country as a whole. It enables there to be a better skilled population, which is never a bad thing. On the other hand, America’s way of making people pay for their own college forces college students to work hard and strive for excellence because they know they are paying for it, whereas, they might be lazier if their money was not affected by how long they stayed in school.

Overall, my trip to Germany made me realize how much freedom and pride I am allowed to have in America. It’s an encouragement here to hear people say, “I’m proud to be an American,” while in Germany that would be very looked down upon. It is nice to live in a country that has had problems but not to the point of having eternal guilt. My German summer changed me because I am much more passionate about how our country reacts to current events.

I see myself changed in my daily life – not in ways that I can say, “Yes, that’s different,” but more as wondering if I would have reacted the same in past situations if they happened to me now. I enjoyed every ounce of my German experience and cannot emphasize how lucky I feel for being able to go abroad. My time there changed me and in ways I needed to be changed.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

my final thoughts

As I sit here writing this I’m trying to compare three aspects of myself- the person I was at school here in College Station last year, the person I was this summer in Germany, and the person I am at this moment. Its funny to see that who I am right now is a combination of who I was 6 months ago and who I became while traveling abroad.

My time in Duesseldorf definitely changed me. While abroad I learned to be much more flexible about plans and schedules, and I definitely became more confident in my ability to function on my own and get things done. I gained patience when dealing with people from different cultures, as well as my own culture. And I found that stressful situations usually do work out in the end if you just take a step back, take a deep breath, and then do your best to make it better. At least that’s what would usually work when we were stressed out about train tickets, or hotel accommodations, or getting on the right metro at the right time and getting off at the right stop. The types of stressful situations are little different back home, but I’ve realized that the same philosophy should work.

This summer I feel as though I achieved a type of go with the flow attitude that allowed me to take a situation as it would come. I think that it was easier to have to kind of attitude over in Germany than here in College Station because everything was a new experience and we didn’t really have an extremely structured expectation of what was supposed to be happening. That is partly why our course was so unique-it allowed us to absorb what knowledge was being passed our way, and then turn around and apply it on different field trips. Our class was never the same from day to day. Not even the location was the same with Dr. Wasser using every opportunity to teach- from the AIB classroom, to a bus, to a train, or even over a meal. Back here in College Station I’m in the same type of classes that I’ve had in the past years-in big lecture halls every day, trying to learn information for an upcoming test instead of learning information to apply it to what I want to do with my life. Now it’s like a routine that follows similar routines of the past, which makes it easier to revert to my old attitudes. Whenever I find myself getting stressed out, or irritated with someone I work on meshing the old personality with the new traits I learned this summer. When I remember and apply the flexibility, confidence and patience that I got from studying in Germany this summer it helps me calm down more than anything.

Its not just these personality traits-I think that everything I learned and experienced while living in Duesseldorf this summer is somehow incorporated into who I am now. Even though I am sure that I will never want to practice human medicine, the things we learned and experienced helped me to appreciate my doctors more and the things that they deal with. Gaining a historical perspective of medicine is important in understanding how we practice medicine here in America. All medicine stems from the basis in Europe and its interesting to compare the variations. Now, after my application has been turned in and I’m waiting to hear about an interview, I tend to think about how the German system of education. If I lived over there I could be into my 2nd year of vet school already and I wouldn’t have to worry about how I’m going to pay for it. The other day my lab partner told me about this vet school in Canada that has a program where you can get certified to practice in Canada, the US, and Western Europe. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me-I definitely would consider moving back to Germany and working over there. I appreciate every aspect of my time in Duesseldorf this summer. I’m extremely jealous of my friend who just turned in her application to study abroad and go with the program next summer. Because its not just about all the valuable information we learned in class, its about the life lessons we picked up while being there.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Endlich, eine Regierung!

Well, the Germans finally have a government, three weeks after the election that saw the CDU/CSU win a narrow victory over the Gerhard Schröder’s rot/grün coalition. After protracted meetings and several false starts, CDU/CSU and SPD bigwigs settled on a “Grand Coalition” and the remainder of the parties on the German political landscape are retreating into active opposition.

Schröder held on to almost the end, stating that it was the will of the German electorate that he remain as Chancellor, but support for this position weakened after the election and disappeared completely after the delayed vote in Dresden on October 2 (see my earlier post “Death of a Neo-Nazi”). Dresden voted CDU/CSU and added one more seat to Merkel’s majority in the Bundestag. The Schröder era is over and Angela Merkel becomes the 8th Chancellor of post-war Germany and its first ever female head of state (Kanzlerin).

The Grand Coalition deal resulted in the SPD holding control of eight important ministries (and hence cabinet positions) and the post of vice-chancellor, while Merkel takes over in the Chancellor’s office. The breakdown of power is as follows (not all of the positions have been confirmed at this time):

Kanzlerin Merkel CDU/CSU
Vizkanzler Müntefering SPD
Kanzleramtschaft (Chancellery) ? CDU/CSU
Auswärtiges (foreign ministry) Steinmeier SPD
Inneres (homeland affairs) ? CDU/CSU
Justiz Zypries SPD
Finanzen Steinbrück SPD
Wirtschaft (economy) Stoiber CDU/CSU
Verteidigung (defense) ? CDU/CSU
Familie ? CDU/CSU
Gesundheit (health) Schmidt SPD
Umwelt (environment) Gabriel SPD
Bildung (education) ? CDU/CSU
Entwicklung (development) Wieczorek-Zeul SPD
Arbeit (labor) Müntefering SPD
Verkehr (transportation) Tiefensee SPD
Verbraucher (consumer affairs) ? CDU/CSU
Kultur ? CDU/CSU
Bundestagspräsident Lammert CDU/CSU

Now we will see if the partners in this Elefantenhochzeit (literally “elephants’ wedding”, the term implies unsuitability of the partners and problems with getting along) can govern. There is precedent. In the late 1960s the Brandt government formed a grand coalition with the CDU and Brandt’s policy of Ostpolitik (reconciliation and return of normal relations with east Germany) continued. However, Angela Merkel is no Willy Brandt, oder?