American Girl.

So I’ve been thinking on and off about what I’d like to write about for my pre-departure blog, and I’m currently sitting here with my mom and dad listening to an oldies playlist I made (of course my dad is really enjoying this).  "Take It Easy" by the Eagles just came on and for some reason it sparked something in me to start my little part of this blog right now.  Something about the line, “Lighten up while you still can / don’t even try to understand.”  Maybe it’s just the way its sung, but I can’t help but smile when I hear that line.  I feel at times that I try to perfectly map out my life into an exact right sequence with the exact right accomplishments at the exact right time with the exact right people and in the exact right place.  It’s this controlling aspect that often causes me to find myself losing track of the days, so caught up in the fast pace of it all and just keeping up with my responsibilities and to-do lists.  I oftentimes find myself thinking, “I just need to get through this week,” when I know that I should be appreciating and enjoying each day exactly as they come.  I suppose spending six weeks in Europe (really seven since I’m tacking on another one at the end of the program for solo travel) will quickly snap me out of that tunnel-vision mindset.  Just have to lighten up and go where I’m taken, for there is no way possible to predict each moment of seven weeks spent in a foreign country when you’ve never even been out of your home country.  And it must have been meant to be for me to start writing this right now, because "Life’s Been Good" by Joe Walsh (which it has been) and "American Girl" by Tom Petty came on right after.  “Well she was an American girl / Raised on promises / She couldn’t help thinkin’ / That there was a little more to life somewhere else / With lots of places to run to.”  How fitting.

This past semester of my life (funny that in college we start referring to stages of our lives by semesters) was quite the interesting one.  It tested me on all fronts – my intelligence, my work ethic, my patience (with myself and others), my serenity, and so much more.  But one thing that the previous semester (lol) taught me is to combat all of these with faith – faith in the interworking components of each day and faith in your struggles.  This is going to sound really crazy for a second, but up until May 14^th, I honestly had no idea how I was going to fully pay for this trip let alone have any sort of spending money if I even made it over there.  I had taken out much of the money needed to pay for program fees in student loans, my grandma paid for my flight (and I needed to pay her back at some point), and my tuition was still left unpaid.  All of this was a big financial burden I did not want to place on my parents.  I was informed of a few scholarships prior to this point that would indeed help but still not fully aid me; but on May 14^th (exactly two weeks before I would be in Bonn, Germany) I received notification of the scholarships that helped piece together a full award package for my study abroad experience –  tuition, flight, and all.  Looks like a semester’s worth of scholarship application essay writing paid off.  But through all of this, I honestly knew that it would work out.  I didn’t know how or when, but I just knew.  And I’m so thankful it did…

I chose this program for so many reasons.  From an academic and future career aspect, I have always been driven to help others and as such have chosen to pursue a career as a physician’s assistant.  Since my decision, I have been eager to discover more opportunities to better myself as well as make myself a more competitive candidate upon applying to professional school and cannot think of a better way to learn and grow than a program where I will be fully immersed into European medicine.  Not to mention European culture.  The medical knowledge I obtain will allow me to enhance my education in a worldlier approach and form a better understanding of medicine and treatment, ultimately leading to a more successful career full of compassionately healing patients.  Additionally, with this program, I will finally be able to stay with a host family – something I have been wanting to do for some time now.  While in high school and still today, my family has hosted several foreign exchange students – two from China, one from Japan, and two from India.  All of them quickly became integral parts of our family.  Though it has been a pleasure to host, I have longed to be on the other side as the student instead of as the host.  There is so much to learn by visiting another country and even more to learn by being integrated into a home.

More than anything, however, I think I chose this program because the opportunity presented itself with impeccable timing.  At the end of last semester, I was yearning for some sort of a separation from the predictable, day-to-day routine that so many of us fall victim to.  I’ve never been one to skip out on daily adventures and opportunities, but there has been a hunger in me for something bigger, and I knew something big was what I needed - something that would fully disconnect me from my life right now.  I think that is oftentimes so vital in the process of discovering more of yourself – your inner-workings, motivations, desires, strengths, weaknesses, abilities, and passions.  To recognize the ways in which you operate somewhere entirely out of your comforts and with no way to predict each situation is truly challenging, and that is what I so deeply desire.  And, the timing of my departure continues to prove perfect.  Towards the end of this semester, it became clear to me that I needed to take time away from my friends, activities, and school, and as such, I began spending a lot of time building myself.  Now, I feel that I am right on track to lunge forward head first into this program and take advantage of all its opportunities – knowing that I am much more confident and comfortable with myself and eager for the growth that will come from this experience.  Just because I am excited, however, does not mean that I am without anxieties.  I am nervous for international travel on flights, trains, busses and any other means (I have never had the best sense of direction), I am nervous for meeting my host family, and I am nervous about the language barriers I will encounter traveling from country to country.  These small anxieties however are nothing compared to my overwhelming excitement for the trip ahead.  I can only imagine the roller-coaster ride this will be, but even in times of complete chaos, I know that each moment is just part of the impactful journey that will further shape me.  I cannot wait to encounter all the trials and triumphs that come along the way, and all I can really think is I am one lucky girl.

P.S.  See below me looking like a mega tourist as I attempt to pack half my suitcase onto my body for the plane ride.  Also, I heard there are free drinks on long international flights?  Anyway, I swear I’ll try to dress more conformingly while abroad.  Mainly because my dad has been telling me about being an American target and bringing up the movie Taken, and my mom has been telling me foreign men will only hit on me so they can come to the U.S.

P.P.S.  I wrote this before viewing any other posts from my fellow study abroad bloggers and am now realizing I wrote an incredibly obnoxious amount.  And here I am in this “P.P.S.” just adding to the length.  Es tut mir leid, auf wiedersehen!



-Kylie Reis