Sprechst sie Englisch?

Right after our flight landed in Germany, we went through customs before we could get our luggage from the plane. While I was standing in line it finally hit me that I was in another country and every one around me were speaking a language I could not understand. I was a little nervous when it came my time to go to the customs counter, but luckily after I handed the guy my passport he said "Hello!" in English. English with a heavy heavy German accent, but at least it was English! He asked me how I was doing and I said I was good and asked him how he was doing. What came out of his mouth next did not register as English to me! The best I could make out was "Buff Aldridge!" As I gave this guy a completely blank stare, I madly tried to figure out in my mind what he could possibly be trying to say! Does he think I can speak German too? Is he trying to say he's buff so he's good? Is he confused on the nationally of some guy named Buff Aldridge that I should apparently know of? After what seemed like 30 seconds of me blankly staring at this guy he goes, "You know average? Above average!" I felt like an idiot as I realized he was speaking English, I just clearly did not hear him right! Not even 10 minutes in Germany and I'd completely embarrassed myself! Additionally, I realized that not only had I come to a country where I couldn't speak their language but I couldn't even understand them when they were nice enough to speak in their second language to me!

While still feeling like a stupid American, our next mission was to find the bathrooms. After squeezing into a stall with my huge backpack, purse, and pillow, I turned around to find the weirdest looking toilet. I questioned for a second if it was broken because it had so little water in it. It was also completely attached to the wall, and not to the floor at all. Then, flushing it was super strange too. They don't have automatic sensors or handles, just buttons on the wall you push! It really is one of those things you have to experience for yourself. After getting all my stuff out of the stall again, I go to wash my hands and can't work the soap dispenser. In Germany you pull on the part we push on in America. Things were just not working out so great for me! I wanted to get out of that bathroom as quickly as possible and went to grab some paper towels from the dispenser. I waved my hands in front of it a couple times, then tried to hand crank it a couple times, and the paper just stayed the same length with some coming out of the holder and then back in appearing as though it was stuck. I went to pull down on the paper towels to see if that fixed it and it almost felt like a towel it was so thick! Apparently, that's normal here! Its just some towel that stays there and different people use to dry their hands without pulling it out and throwing it away like we do! Leaving that bathroom I was pretty convinced I was never going to get things right in Germany!