In Search of my Long-Lost Great Aunt

Seeing my great aunt this past weekend meant so much to me, but I’m going to try to make this post as least cliché as I can in case I start sounding like a cheezeball. I woke up on Saturday morning in Bonn with a solid eight hours of sleep, and it felt…awesome. After getting on and off trains early in the morning for the past few days, it felt amazing to finally get some rest and sleep in. I met up with Alexis to grab lunch and walk around in Bonn for a bit. After she left to catch an appointment for her super amazing spa treatment, I walked around town some more and bought some Combat boots I have been wanting for a while. Then I went home and took my time packing and getting ready to catch my train that afternoon. Apparently I took too much time getting ready because I ended up sprinting to the train station to make sure I was on time for my train. Luckily I had made it onto my trains and successfully arrived to Karlsruhe, where my Great Aunt lives. Traveling across Germany by myself for the first time was a huge deal for me, because I have never traveled such a long distance by myself until this summer. The most I’ve ever “traveled” is driving from Houston to Austin back in Texas. Being the directionally-challenged and lost person that I am, I realize that being able to get around in foreign places is a part of growing up. I have always relied on my friends to help me get around to places, especially in Europe, but I had no choice but to be completely independent this weekend.

My heart started racing as the train neared the Karlsruhe Hauptbahnhof, and I surprised myself when I was being so nervous throughout the train ride. Going into the bathroom often to make sure I look presentable, thinking in my head what my first words would be…I thought I was about to go on my first date or something. I have never met my great aunt before, and until I told my parents that I wanted to study in Germany this summer, I had no idea I even had a family member living outside of South Korea. Not too long after I got off the train, a short, grey-haired lady asked me in Korean if my name was Jooyeon. I immediately flashed her a smile and squeezed my aunt a hug of hello. She then introduced me to her German husband and step-daughter (it was awkward because I was about to hug them, but they rejected me with a handshake…), and we soon headed to her house. Communication was a little uncertain at times, because my great aunt is very strong in her German and Korean, while I am only strong in my English and can only speak a little Korean. But it wasn’t as horrible as I had imagined because her daughter was fairly fluent in English. My aunt lives in a very rich, modern-like neighborhood. She explained to me that both her and her husband are doctors, so it was not surprising that her house was so high-class. We ate German-Korean food (bratwurst with rice and kim-chi) for dinner, and afterwards my aunt shared her entire life story with me.

It amazes me how brave and successful she has been. And what amazes me more is how open she was with me to tell me so much about her life. It’s common in Asian families to have a clear parent/child distinction without much of intimacy between the parents and their children…which would explain why I don’t know much about any of my family members’ personal lives. I had no idea that my grandmother’s parents, who would also be my great aunt’s parents, had both passed away before my great aunt had graduated from high school. And then apparently my grandmother never went to college but got lucky to have found a husband at the time. When my great aunt did not pass the test to get into college in Korea, she basically decided to YOLO and ran away to Germany to hopefully find a better life here. She not only attended the Hannover Medical School and became a doctor, but also found a husband and a new family here in Germany. It was just so inspiring to hear about how she acted against the expectations of a traditional Korean family and worked her way to turn her unfortunate life upside down and find happiness elsewhere. It was HER sister, MY grandmother, who so adamantly insisted that I find a Korean husband or else she would refuse to come to my future wedding. It was ironic, yet so relieving to hear my great aunt’s story after having such a strict and traditional presumption about her family.

The next day, I went into the main shopping area of Karlsruhe with my great aunt and her husband to enjoy the peaceful town. Karlsruhe has a significant senior citizen population due to the rehabilitation center in the area, but the town itself is very relaxed and quiet—which is exactly the type of environment I needed to rest up before my train ride back to Bonn! Before we left for the train station, my aunt and I spent a lot of time sharing and exchanging pictures. It was neat to see pictures of my grandparents and some of my other relatives with my great aunt. Unfortunately she did not have any pictures of my dad (her nephew), for she had only met him once in her life. In return, I shared pictures of my family and the few pictures I have with my grandparents when we visited Korea a few years ago. I realized that because my aunt lives so far away from the rest of her family, she hardly ever gets to see any of her siblings or nieces/nephews. Having this rare opportunity to come visit my great aunt was such a privilege and blessing, and though I am sad to say that I will most likely never see her again, I am so incredibly grateful for this experience. Before my train departed, my aunt gave me some cash and a few gifts to bring back to my family. I could see tears in her eyes as I hugged her and her German family goodbye. As the train started moving, I put up a strong face and struggled to hold back my tears while I waved goodbye one last time.