A Career Roller Coaster

Over the past week in Bonn, my next few steps in life have been heavily weighing down my mind.  What am I supposed to do when I graduate? I keep changing my mind, and studying abroad has opened my eyes to even more possibilities! One of the main highlights from this past week was having the opportunity to observe a liver transplant. A LIVER TRANSPLANT! I still haven't wrapped my mind around the fact that I got to see this entire surgery.  It was incredible!

I left the medical school train about 2 years ago and really haven't thought much about it again until that day that I was in the operating room looking at a patients bad liver being removed from their body. I honestly gave up the dream of being a doctor because I didn't feel that I had what it took to be a doctor and that I wouldn't be able to make it in medical school.  Then life threw me for a loop when I realized I still had a very strong passion for wanting to be a doctor.  My current plan is to go to nursing school after I graduate in December, and then eventually become a nurse practitioner.  I've been diligently working towards this goal for a while now, and can't imagine changing directions once again.  Would I be challenged enough by just being a Nurse Practitioner? Am I pushing myself as hard as I can go?  My mind is running in all sorts of directions now!

As I stood on a stool learning and observing from the surgeons and doctors that day in the operating room, I couldn't help but feel like a kid in a candy store.  I have the passion for medicine, and truly believe that I am supposed to help people in this way.  What the heck is stopping me from becoming a doctor and giving people a second chance at life with surgeries such as a liver transplant!?  Nothing but myself!

The most exciting part of watching the surgery was seeing the bad liver come out of the body, and the surgeon holding it up and saying, "Look!!  It was as if it was no big deal for him to take a human organ out of a body, and replace it with a new one.  For him, it was a regular thing, but to me it was a huge deal! It was life changing, honestly!  I was shocked at the way the liver looked.  It was nearly the size of a football, and looked terrible.  Then came the new liver.  It was smaller, and looked much better, and much healthier! The patient was getting a new chance at life, and a whole new lifestyle.  Thinking about his future was exciting, and brought a smile to my face.

I sat in bed that night and couldn't help but think of how watching the liver transplant was sort of a metaphor for my life at the moment.  The bad liver is my negative perception of my abilities and my life, and the new liver is believing in myself, and looking forward to a new, better future! I hope to hear the words "Paging Dr. Thomman" one day!

It's funny how life works sometimes!