snap back to reality....

oh! there goes gravity...

but honestly.

As I type this I am eating my LAST alpenmilch chocolate bar and I'm trying to channel my inner Germany Maddi to be able to make this blog post as good as possible. I have waited quite some time to write this because I feel as if there is so much I can relate everything I learned abroad to every aspect of my life. I want to fully be able to explain how much this summer abroad as taught me and changed the way I see so many things.

Learning how to be in close quarters with only 9 other girls for 5 weeks taught me so much about those girls as individuals, but also about myself. How I am the same and different in so many ways. How I can better empathize with them, help them, comfort them; but also how I needed them to do the same for me. This also allows me to be a better leader within my womens organization. I feel as if we have almost every possible personality on our trip - even with only 10 girls. I see a similar personality trait from one of the girls to almost ever person I meet. I believe this really gives me a unique perspective and helps me to better connect to those around me.
Learning how to be away from my loved ones for an extended period of time really put how much I love them into perspective. But also made being apart from my family while I'm here at school feel like nothing. I feel like I am always surrounded my friends and family. I dont think I ever go a day without seeing a best friend or a family member. While I was aboad I definiely made some best friends but it took some time and I felt alone for the first few weeks - even when surrounded by everyone. This was a whole new situation for me, and it really helped me figure out how to survive on my own two feet.
Learning how to focus on myself when needed was also so very important. I'm someone who will refuse to take time for myself even when I know I probably should. Bring abroad was hectic, packed with activity, and really wore me down physically and mentally. I learned how to go home and recharge, not worried about school or tests, and wake up the next day ready to go. Here in college station, unfortunately its not like that. I can't just drop everything to take a nap, or neglect my work for an entire evening. But I have learned various ways of dealing with my stress that my schedule allows.
Learning that the world is so much bigger than my tiny little bubble was so important. I absolutely love Texas. I love Chilifest, FTA football, saying "yall", getting excited over 60 degree weather, and so many other things I associate with my beloved state. But I learned that while yeah, Texas is awesome, some places just do it better. Better healthcare, better infrastructure, better government, better jobs, better housing market, better transportation, better vacations, better insurance, and the list could go on and on. I learned to see America and Texas from an outside perspective. I met many many young people from European countries as well as Canada who were not afraid to let me know how they felt about America. Especially American politics at the moment (lol). It was hard to even reply to these people because I am as dumbfounded as they are at the current situation - but it was honestly so fun to hear someone roast our candidates in a German accent. But what being away from home also taught me was how much I identify with where I am from. I am from "Texas" and specifically "Houston". I was honestly awesome to say I'm from Houston and having people from Europe know what that is. I am Texas and Texas is me. No matter how much I travel or learn other things itll be hard to not identify myself as a Texan forever.

On a less lighter note: I definitely saw a nasty side of humanity while I was abroad. Mall shootings, train attacks, train crashes, car crashes, police shootings, shootings of black men and women, racism, narcissism, ethnocentrism, and again, the list could go on and on.
Each day I would wake up to another tragedy happening just a few hundred miles away. This wasnt something I could ignore anymore. This wasn't something that was happening across a large ocean that didnt affect me. These were real atrocities that were happening in places I have been, and even affecting the great state of Texas.

All in all this trip has wonderfully changed my life. I see so many things in a new light and I talk about my trip at least once a day (to the annoyance of my friends and family)