I LOVE CROISSANTS!!!

Not surprisingly, I am the last one to do the blog.

I’ve been dreading to do this final blog. Why? Because it feels as I am closing the chapter to one of the best experiences in my life! I don’t know how the nine of us who barely knew each other coming into the trip became so close by the end. Nothing short of a miracle considering we were roaming around in countries where we knew what very little meant and how to effectively communicate.

The first few days I came back, I was expecting reverse culture shock to hit me like a train. Except I forgot we don’t really use trains. There was definitely a small adjustment period. No more walking out of my apartment for a quick meal. I had become so used to walking outside and just finding a sandwich shop or bakery within sight. No more magnificent looking architecture everywhere. Every building here looks the same as the next building which looks the same as the next building, and so on. And most importantly, NO MORE CROISSANTS! The bakeries here have them too, but let’s be honest: they can’t compare!

Though I loved my time in Germany, this is not to say I did not miss home. I definitely missed being able to just go to the gym after a long day and being able to let loose. I missed watching football on Sunday afternoons as I am so accustomed to doing. And most importantly, I missed being around those that I care about most.

Once I came back, I had seemingly become “impervious” to the cold after my three weeks in Europe. So once I came back, the “chilly” weather that my friends were complaining about was nothing to me and I was rocking t-shirts and shorts like there was no tomorrow. This was also probably because I was wearing long sleeve shirts and pants throughout the entire trip. Another obvious change for me was walking around on campus without smoke being constantly blown into my face. It seems as if every other person there smokes and makes me wonder how lung cancer is not a raging epidemic?

The overall program struck the perfect balance of structure and freedom. We had enough on our plates on a daily basis to keep us from wandering around like maniacs. Me personally, I am rather indecisive. So having something to do at all times was necessary for me. Since we were all relatively unfamiliar with the cities we were in, it was nice to get a city tour wherever we went to assimilate us to our surroundings. Yet, it was also nice to have enough time at nights and during weekends to go out, explore, and visit other places not on our agenda like Pergamon in Berlin and the city of Prague.

As an aspiring physician, I really appreciated the plethora of medically related experiences as well as the lectures. With the GOP nomination process in full swing and the 2012 Presidential election looming, it is interesting to see the candidates’ takes on healthcare with the added perspective I now have about socialed medicine from hearing firsthand opinions from several medical professionals in Europe. Furthermore, one of the most important aspects of the Germany program for me was that it re-confirmed my decision to pursue a career in medicine. I’ve never really had any doubts in my mind, but this experience reminded me just how much I love working with people and in the end, that’s what healthcare is all about, people.

But in addition, I am glad I got to witness more than just healthcare and its related branches. I know as a science major and a pre-med student, I definitely forget to pay attention to the world around me sometimes because I am so caught up in doing well in school and bettering my resume. But for atleast those three weeks, I was able to forget about those stresses and just marvel at what was surrounding me. Just getting outside of my comfort zone and getting a chance to do things that I would otherwise never had a chance to do. In addition, the ubiquitous history never ceased to amaze me. From the Freud House in Vienna to the Sachsenhausen camp in Oranienburg to the Berlin Wall. I wonder if the people who live by these historical sites are as in awe as I was or if they just get used to it after seeing it over and over again?

I had never been to Europe before. And I don’t know when I will have this opportunity again. All I can do now is cherish these memories and reminisce about what a great time I had with 8 new friends, 1 awesome professor, and 1 Nils. As school has kicked back into full swing now, I miss the whole Germany experience more than ever now! Spring break is coming up, so who knows? Maybe I can just hope on a train and get off at Alexanderplatz and, wait a minute…

Auf Weidersehen!

Looking back on Deutschland

This first months back has gone by so quickly.
Whether I’d like to admit it or not, school life came back just as regularly as it ever has. It’s easy to get into a swing, a rhythm, and stay put for a while, going through the motions. But I’ve kept bits and pieces of the trip in random places, train tickets in my iPod case, the Kostritzer glass on my shelf, studying cardiac mechanics and replaying that triple bypass surgery in my mind.
There are other small changes I’ve noticed. I’ve found I love discussing different issues we were exposed to on the trip with anyone willing to bounce ideas back and forth, the healthcare dilemma being a favorite. There’s a BBC news app residing on my phone that I read each day before class, I’m more skeptical and very sensitive of US citizen’s views of foreign happenings, and I’m annoyed with myself if I slip away from keeping up with issues abroad. Thinking on global scales rather than college-station ones is more relatable and easier than it was before. I’ve recognized that opportunities are no longer restricted to Texas, the east and west coast, or the United States for that matter.
A surprising realization I’ve stumbled upon after coming back was my need to make time for people. After three weeks of unburying myself from books and listening to stories- the dancer from Budapest on the train from Prague, the Australian couple on our pub crawl, to name a few- I’ve come to realize people’s lives, dreams, and creativity are incredibly more interesting than a textbook on biomaterials. Cliché-ness aside, I overwhelmed myself beyond any shade of dignity last semester, and those weeks with nothing but coffee and papers brought me to a rude awakening. I’d been sweeping people under the rug, pushing them back to another day, when time would magically appear out of the heavens and give me a break. So one of the biggest changes I’ve made with this reprioritizing is taking time to catch up with old friends, chit-chatting with random people on the way to class. I loved that being in Germany, you could communicate with a single smile, or an expression, because words were basically useless (for us at least, Dr. Wasser of course had the language down to a fine art in comparison). Conclusion? This trip was a great reminder that people are beautiful, and at the end of the day, they’ll be there with a lot more to offer than a degree and a salary.
Ironically, on more professional terms, I feel as though I have a much clearer direction and vision of what I want to accomplish in my career. Prior to our trip, medical school was as appealing as technical design of devices, which was on the same level as tissue engineering. I remember feeling utterly confused as to what interested me. This trip had the biggest variety of medical applications I’ve ever actually experienced, and opened my eyes to a few disciplines I had quite frankly never considered before. Prosthetics became infinitely more exciting thanks to Otto Bock, cardiac imaging was put in the playing field as well, and I was reminded why I chose biomedical engineering in the first place- I was a kid in a candy store. So many thanks to everyone who coordinated the program – you’ve presented us with so many problems to be tackled, and solutions to be improved upon. I’m not sure everyone thought of it in quite those terms, but you’ve gotten us all outside of our boxes in a major way.
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I made a list of goals for myself on the plane ride home, and I’m reading through them again for the first time to see what I have and haven’t tried out. The first was learning a language. Well, starting off strong, I haven’t attempted this one yet. It’s still on the to-do list, probably as a summer project. This stemmed from my belief that Americans, in general, are pretty lazy when it comes to learning any other languages than our native English, whereas a large majority of the people in the world learn at least two languages growing up. This is probably a great testament to our lack of willingness to embrace other cultures.
I also decided I wanted to study people instead of math equations 24-7. As mentioned above, keeping up with current events is a new priority, because in no way did I qualify as an active citizen before this trip. I’ve been pretty successful with this one! I’ve surprised myself with how much persistence I actually took on this goal, considering it had no place in my busy bubble of a life before. Going along with the theme, I wanted to be able to discuss my opinion of these issues with friends and colleagues, and this goal has flowered into some pretty awesome conversations ranging from debt crises to work-life balance to FDA regulations and healthcare systems, and I love that I have somewhat of a unique and objective point of view due to my time in Germany.
I wanted to practice my oboe more. The opera sparked this one; I honestly couldn’t take my focus off of wanting to play in the symphony that accompanied the singing. It’s been a year since I’ve played in an ensemble, and I miss the flow of music through every fiber of your being as you create with a group of people feeling the same thing. It’s been too long since I’ve experienced this, and one of my goals is to teach oboe lessons when I’m a bit older. I’ve busted mine out a few times since retrieving it from Dallas and it’s been wonderful.
Another goal: studying things I haven’t before. If anything else, this trip has urged me to reach out to new areas of interest. I’ve made a goal to perform in the Austin Poetry Slam, and to finish a few novels over the course of the semester. Now that I’ve experienced the freedom of learning in a new country, from the tours to interactive museums to conversing with people on trains, I’m finding it easy to pull away from my usual study of biology and the like. There are so many integrated areas of culture and art I haven’t made time for, and convincing myself to take a break from engineering to delve into one of these has become more of a necessity for me than an “oh, it would be cool to do this, maybe one day..” type thing. Another thought: Yes, a library gives your mind unlimited wandering space, bit why not do both mental and physical wandering at the same time? Travelling is a must do, as soon as I get that salary…
Other things I learned: Americans are loud, and always will be. I smile a lot, too much for my own good, probably, as I got a few weird looks from strangers while abroad. Walking is infinitely better than driving. You’re closer to people, it’s better for you, and the only downfall is you’re missing the random jam out moments in the cars next to you. It makes me think American like to isolate ourselves from others for the most part, which is a bit discomforting.
I’ve realized history, and the paths people have taken, are beautiful. It astounds me that Germany can have the strongest economy in the EU after rebuilding itself twice. Also, I walked in the footsteps of those who survived an attempt at exterminating a whole group of people. I walked where they walked, read what they had to say about it, and in the lucky cases, felt their freedom. The parallels between the US anti-Muslim mindset and the anti-Semitism of Nazi Germany is scary and eye opening as well, it’s not so unbelievable that people should slip past their normal morals under such fear and powerful propaganda and authority. I’ve also learned that nationalism is valuable- the ability to join together and be absolutely proud of your people and your country is something I’ve always taken for granted, mostly because I ignored most of the not so great actions the US has taken over the decades. We, as a country, can fly our flags and go crazy about our pride for our country, but for Germans it reminds them of a gruesome past. It’s completely opposite of the revolutionary war –we are awesome- stigma American kids grew up with. On a side note, whenever I come across a plaque in the ground, I immediately think of the bonze squares along the sidewalks across Germany, the Czech Republic, and Austria. The acceptance of their past and the ability to keep moving still amazes me.
All in all, my experiences in Germany have opened my mind to so many possibilities and ideas I never dreamed of considering. Thank you Dr. Wasser, and thanks to my fellow travelers for helping make our excursion something I will never forget!

The Wanderlust (Re?)kindled

There are things I know of because I read of them, because I was taught about them by parents or in school, or because I otherwise gathered it from my experience in this American culture. There are words that I think I know, but when asked to give the definition and the origin, I falter and say “you know, I’m not exactly sure. Let’s look it up”.

Wanderlust. Noun- A strong, innate desire to rove or travel about. Origin: 1902. From German, literally “desire for wandering.” 

I have known this word for years. I googled it once when I heard it in a Flogging Molly song of the same name and again when I read it in a novel. I knew what it meant but I never appreciated its history (or recognized that it is part of the German language tradition of sticking two words together to handcraft your own new word), and certainly never understood it through my own experience. There are many things that I have long understood on a conceptual level, but no matter how how well I think I grasp the concept, my understanding cannot match the integrity of the actual experience. Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge fan of “book learning” and I definitely don’t want to experience everything that I have a conceptual knowledge of… but for those things that I do strive to understand on a deeper level, conceptual knowledge becomes preparedness for an adventure in experiential knowledge. Just as this trip allowed me to realize the true meaning of wanderlust (as we schlepped our belongings from place to place), it allowed me to transition many other perceptions from conceptual to experiential: 

I’d studied the rotator cuff, but then I saw an open shoulder surgery in a teaching hospital in Bonn.

I’d heard of cities bombed, but then I stood in front of a church rebuilt from the rubble in Dresden.

I’d seen pathologies described in text books, but then I walked through rows of medical history displayed in jars and cases at Charite and again at the Narrenturm.

I’d read about the treatment of Jews, gypsies, and political enemies of the state by Nazi authority, but I never dreamed I’d stand inside the old headquarters of the Gestapo in Cologne, stand by the trail walked by the Roma and Sinti to the train station, or enter into the cold and barren grounds of the concentration camp Sachsenhausen. 

I’d heard of great rivers, but never thought I’d walk along the Elbe, pose for a photo on the Rhine, or take a nighttime adventure to sit and talk beside the Danube with friends. 

I’d read my history, and biographies, and memoirs, but then I stood where rubble met Gestapo basements met the Wall and history itself had to stack up like my text books in Berlin. 

 …and now, there are buildings, museums, hospitals, lots of people in lots of cities, train rides, cultural elements, and historical monuments that still steep me in gratitude because I was able to experience them. I'm so thankful for the students and the leadership that made this trip exactly what it was! Thank you!! The Germany experience challenged me to move out of my comfort zone and see the world a little differently. In many ways, it is still challenging me to make my days count more, to go out of my way to enrich my daily experience and the experience of those around me, to get out of my comfort zone, and to not let myself be under-stimulated and complacent in my routine. It is challenging me to move knowledge from conceptual to experiential. 

And of course, there is always the Wanderlust. 

I wonder where I’ll go next. 

So What Does It All Mean??

The spring semester is in full swing; late night cram sessions preparing that last little bit for an exam, arriving on campus at 8am and not leaving until 9pm that night, etc. I feel like as of now, I am fully saturated back into my usual environment and normal routine. As humans, traditionally we like this; we like having a plan of action, a normal routine that gets us through the day. And I feel like I am the same way. But for three weeks over the winter break, routine was thrown out the window. Each day was a new adventure and there was no telling where our feet would take us, and what our eyes would see. And that was fun. It was more than fun, it was a thrill; I feel like a month and a half of my live was packed into those three weeks and it was a blast.

I still find myself using the occasional danke, bitte, and entshuldegung, just out of pure habit. And those little words are nice, because they trigger alot of these memories again and remind of how fun it was.

Since I have been back, I find myself more thoughtful on how foreigners interact back here in the States; now that I know what it feels like to be that person that can't speak the language that everyone around you is speaking, or know all of the traditions in an area and the things that people just don't do some place (like jay-walking in Germany). I try and help these people out more, and overall am more willing to work with them through the language barrier to either help them out or just talk with them. Language barriers are not a reason to interact with anyone, they are an easy reason for you to give up and walk away.

Another thing that I do more frequently is staying more up to date with world news. I really was very secular in how I felt news mattered to me, but the world as a whole functions just like that, as a whole. And because everyone is co-dependent on one another, what happens here over 15 hours away from you, can have a huge impact on your life and how you go about living it.

Everyone is linked together, all 6 billion of us, and must function together to keep everyone else from going down in flames, so to speak.

P.S. I'm also interested in going back to Europe and not afraid to try new places, that initially can seem overwhelming.

Dare I describe them as three of the best weeks of my life?

I’ll admit: I actually dreamed about being back in Germany and Austria during the first couple weeks back, but the obviously disappointing part was that the dreams did neither the cities nor the experiences nearly enough justice. Somehow even my imagination is unable to create situations and experiences that can truly be compared to those three weeks.

Two of the main unique aspects of this time abroad were the lack of parents and a presence of structure. I’m definitely not the type of person who needs every second in the day planned, but to focus on a certain facet of new countries gave me a much deeper understanding of not only medicine but of the entire country through their citizens’ priorities, or at least the governments’. They seem to think of society as a whole rather than emphasize the individual, which is one of the fundamental differences between countries such as Germany and the United States. I’m not saying one is better than the other; I’m still trying to decide that, which I why I’m almost desperate to return to Europe. As a patient, it would, of course, be great to have medical insurance guaranteed, but as a doctor, it seems as though there are still some of the same problems that plague the American healthcare system. In any specialty, being aware of major similarities and differences between you and your counterparts allows for a better understanding of your own methods. Since I’m still on the fence, once I’ve had more experience in the American healthcare system, hopefully I can spend more time in a Western European hospital. Part of residency in England doesn’t sound too bad…

Another great part of the experience was the city tours. I don’t know why all history classes aren’t taught like this! We’ve already learned about the major facts from history classes, but to actually walk along where the Berlin Wall stood or the trail taken by the Roma and Sinti, sit in the same lecture room in which Robert Virchow lectured, the fact that a descendant of one of the soldiers who bombed Dresden made the new cross now at the top of the Frauenkirche or my personal favorite learning the irony of the French embassy being in Pariser Platz, adds an entirely new level of reality to the textbooks. (If only we could learn about Hardy-Wienburg equilibrium in their houses!) In cities such as Berlin and Dresden, the effects of a terrible war, only to be continued in another form for an additional forty years, are evident. Now, Germany is known for it’s relatively great economy and is seen as a leader for other European countries, but its people still deal with the ripples, even today. The United States, too, still has to compensate for past inequalities. Learning more history from a different perspective casts a new light on old material.

Since returning home, I can’t help but feel that something is missing in my life, or maybe not missing, but that one day in Germany was just so much better than my recent days here. Maybe it was the modes of transportation, the big city atmosphere of the pedestrian shopping centers, or the awesome food that you can get basically anywhere. You don’t know something is missing while you don’t know about it, which is why it is so important to expose yourself to new things. Taking a train, riding a subway and being thrown into new countries with twelve strangers never seems particularly appealing to me. But now, I’d give a lot to ride a train to Dallas instead of driving or flying, take the subway instead of driving at 5:30 and spend more time with all the people in our group. It’s amazing that despite such diverse backgrounds, we all end up in the same place, at least for part of our lives even though each may have their own reason. This was the best part of getting to know the other students on the trip. We’ve all chosen the same general field, but I learned so much from each person since we’re all in different stages of our lives. I probably don’t need to move to Europe to have experiences as great as I had during the trip, but I would love spending more time in Germany to have a better understanding of the country and Germans since three weeks was only dipping a toe in the pool. A group at the Max Delbrück Center looks like they do they same kind of research as the lab I’m working in now, and a summer in Berlin sounds like it would be absolutely amazing.

After already having driven over three thousand miles this semester, sitting back and enjoying a train ride through Germany this morning sounds perfect. I guess for now I’ll have to settle for my changing desktop backgrounds.