Back to the same 'ol same 'ol.........

So yes......I am here at my computer right now....late with the assignment.....as usual.....I appologize to Dr. Wasser for the lateness of this blog....and hope that he isn't too upset for the delay.
Wow....I am actually speechless at the moment...or "typeless" shall I say instead. There are just too many things that I want to put in this final blog and my fingers are freezing up in anticipation. Haha.
I could tell from the beginning orientation that the group of people who were going to be traveling with me were intelligent. Very intelligent. No one really spoke to each other that much in the orientation meetings, so I wasn't too sure how everyone would fit in the end. Not meaning that I didn't think that we'd get along, I just really wasn't sure what the personalities were like going into the trip. On that note of the adventure....I am positive now that I could not have been sent with a better bunch of Aggies! Each and every person on the journey had the greatest personality, and each contributed their own little bit towards the group's humor and sense of curiosity. Now that it has been almost two months since I've been home, I've seen everyone at least once...and have become very close to the few that I see pretty frequently. They are relationships that are bound by sympathy, or empathy rather. My roomates tease me because I call the folks my "G-crew" (dubbed by Lacie! Yes!). I have also visited with Dr. Wasser since I've been back. I REALLY REALLY wish that I had a course of his...because I sincerely miss our conversations! His drive and hunger for life is a true inspiration, and I really feel like I can take on the world after talking with him!
I would encourage EVERYONE to apply for the trip because I think that it is SO important for Americans, or anyone really, to see what else is out in the world. Ethnocentrism is one of the biggest, and most common problems in this world/country, and I believe that once people can physically see how others live, they will be more open minded, and be able to appreciate what we have in this country. I know, those are two differently realated results of "seeing how others live" but I am using my own results from the experience...and I feel that I am way more open minded to things that I used to think were weird, simply because I was not used to them.....and I also feel that I appreciate what I have more. I constantly (as seen in my two prior blogs) am relating the "bads" in my life to what could be in Germany. Dachau truely changed the way I complain....and though I still do complain about petty crap (pardon my French-but that's what it is), my complaining state doesn't ever last more than an hour or so. If I had a dime for every instance, since I've been back, that I've thought of the trip, or things that I experienced or saw on the trip.....why.......I'd be able to use German public bathrooms for the REST OF MY LIFE!!!! Hahaha!
To be more specific...more academic maybe...I came back from Germany and the very next day ran a half marathon, and the day after that school started, along with my new job as a vet tech. Now, I am a vet's daughter...but I learned very quickly that being the daughter of a vet only supplies me with the knowledge of how a male/husband/father/veterinarian lives. Haha! Just kidding. I did know how he handles certain situations, I have pulled a calf all by myself....have palpated cows (my dad used to test me on the months bred...Ha!), I have pulled a lamb, I have assisted in countless dehorns, spays, neuters, HNOs, and routine surgeries, Coggings tests, fertility tests, prolapses....well needless to say...I thought that I pretty much knew how to do alot of what I was going to be doing. NOT!!!!! I work at a small animal clinic, and the stuff that I do now is NOTHING compared to what I used to do back home. Actually....I realized that I didn't do a whole lot of "teching" at home. So I felt like an idiot for the first few weeks that I was back in the states. Germany showed me how interested I was in being a vet, but honestly, I am to the point now where...I really am questioning whether or not I am supposed to take on that field. If I get accepted I will 99.9% attend, but if I do not...I have a Spanish Language adventure with my name all over it. Germany prompted the already existent travel bug which has been inside me since Ecuador....but now that I have traveled there, and to Prague ....and have survived......I have the confidence that I need to travel by myself to South America alone for a year. I want SOOO MUCH out of life....I want to be fluent in Spanish...I want to see as many other cultures as I possibly can, I want to teach others about what I see and learn, I want to make a difference in people's view of life...and I want to challenge myself with confidence and not be down when I don't get the results that I am looking for. I want to be entirely at peace with myself! Is that possible. Sure....I'm positive it is...I just have to realize that matters aren't in my hands, but that I can sure help myself go into the right directions by not being scared by unwanted results..........wow.....ok now I'm way off topic.......back to Germany......
I had to fill out the survey and honestly didn't have even a full sentence for what to change to make the trip better. I am pretty sure that I would not change a single thing. The hotels were fun because we had 'our space' and we were able to grow close to the roomate that we were living with. Chyng and I actually hang out quite a bit now.....and we have a class together. Yey! The agendas of the day were filled so well. I never felt like we had TOO much to do, or that I was just exhausted from a tour. I liked that we had to wake up at an early (but not TOO early) time. The lectures were a blast becase now we were THERE, in the places where the lecture material was originating from. So neat. I don't think that I could pick a favorite event throughout the trip, but I can list the ones that enter my head right off the bat. The Museum of Hygiene was absolutely FANTASTIC!!! It was exactly what I expected, and just so.....different. Seeing the faces that people are attracted to.....the transparent bovine model.....ah...so neat! The death expose downstairs was thoroughly interesting! Some people think so differently...and seeing the portrayal of their twisted thoughts shining through their artwork, it stimulated the right hemisphere of my brain man! Jessica and I actually had a really good conversation in that expose. It gave us each the chance, I think, to really see how deep the other is. Just one more thing that we will share from Germany!
I really didn't know too much about the wall or the politics behind it...but now that I have touched it....seen Checkpoint Charlie ( and C.P Curry HA!) I feel like .....ah, I don't even know how to explain how I feel. I feel like I have been filled with insight...simply realize that there are things out there that I NEED to know about. I don't understand why I feel like I NEED to know them...but I just know that I do. I need to know the past....I need to see what people have survived, and lived through.
One thing that I really enjoyed about the structure of this trip is the blogging....I know that sounds lame...but I like to keep a journal...and even though I do not write in it religiously day to day....I still keep it...and it holds my thoughts, dreams, and whatever I am thinking at the moment of my scribbling. Blogging was like this to me....a journal of my experiences...a chance for the people around me to take a peak into my heart and my head......eventhough I know that my blogs are really ubber long, and that people will not read them.....I hope that maybe on a bad day of theirs...they'll take a look and maybe see how much they have meant to me thus far.
I came out of the trip with 2040 pictures. All which can be seen on facebook! They are out of order...but I'm pretty sure that they are awesome still! :) I have saved all of my train ticket stubs, coasters, and mementos from the trip and will eventually...when my day has more hours...make the greatest scrapbook that the world has ever seen. Ok...maybe not...but it will be pretty frickin awesome!
All I can really say now is that I truly think of Germany, and who I am because of it, everyday. The things that I saw/took pictures of/experienced, and the people that I met will be a LARGE piece of my decision to smile from day to day for the rest of my life! Will I be a vet....I don't know.....will I travel the world-continuing to meet interesting people, learning from what I see, and do my best to teach those around me just what exactly what is around THEM.....just try to stop me.... ;) Thanks Dr. Wasser.

the aftermath....

well well... here i am... about two months after my return from germany. sometimes i still can't believe that i was so lucky to be given a chance to go abroad and not only that, but truely enjoy the people that i went with. i couldn't have asked for a better group. we grew together and anytime i see someone from the group, i think about how we all shared such a special time in our lives together. i will always remember each person for their uniqueness.

since my return i have thought about germany almost daily. we just did so many things. seeing open heart surgery was by far my favorite thing that we did. i usually get really queezy with blood but i just told myself that i could do this, and that i was never going to have a chance to do this again. its amazing the things you're capable of by simply telling yourself that you have to do this or that. i feel alot stronger as person. like i know that i can do whatever i have to do.

before going to germany i used to get really anxious whenever i would travel. whether it be flying to new york or driving to austin... i just feel uncomfortable and like something bad is going to happen and i won't be able to fix it. however, I WENT TO GERMANY, TRAVELED AROUND THE ENTIRE COUNTRY, AND SURVIVED. therefore, i can do anything. i have realized that, yes, something bad may happen, but there is nothing that cannot be fixed. especially in the country that i live in where i can communicate with everyone. and even while we were in germany, it was pretty easy to communicate with most people.


germany has changed me. and i know that germany and i will reunite again. i can't wait to go with family and friends and be able to show them the things that i learned and loved about germany. i am all smiles when i think about germany....