it's not goodbye; it's 'see ya later'

I didn't say goodbye to everyone; I really wanted to, but somewhere between the the last week and departure I found myself incredibly absorbed in everything I had seen and learned. The awe of the country and the importance of the studies were observed but intentionally never applied to everything I know until the latter part of the trip.

My ethics have been validated; some of my political views are in question and some have been strengthened. I'm more motivated than ever to dedicate my life to my healthcare profession. I think I've uncovered a view of the world that I never knew existed.

I'm looking through my pictures now and already wishing I had just another week or two to stay in Germany and see more. I didn't like or want to say goodbye to my July 'home', my host family, our German acquaintances, or the other fourteen people on the trip. I honestly feel like a jerk because I didn't get to really connect and bond with everyone as much as I wanted to or intended to; there was so much to absorb on the trip that I found myself in my own head trying to rationalize what I was seeing rather than really enjoying the company of my peers.

I told this all to Juice on the plane ride home. Oddly enough, he felt similar. We found ourselves walking into the Houston airport as completely different people. At the beginning of our trip, I think the carefree feelings of studying abroad in Germany were giving me the expectations of a vacation with some learning involved: summer school in paradise. Somewhere in the middle of the trip I felt my demeanor changing from my typical outgoing mindset to one of introverted thought and reflection. It's only now that I can really understand what was going on and the magnitude of the change that the past 5 weeks have had on me.

-

As my old life with school, work, family, and friends resumes, I know that this wasn't goodbye; it's 'see ya later'. I'm going to spend time with my fourteen groupmates this semester and finish the connections and friendships that I started but didn't finish. I'm going to return to Germany soon and see both the people and the places that I don't want to forget. Goodbye implies that we may never see each other again;' see ya later' implies that we for sure will.


So I'll see you all later-